By: Usman Mehmood
Valentine’s Day has traditionally been sold as one narrative. flowers. chocolates. candlelight dinners. A romance reel which indicates that love has to appear a particular way so as to be authentic. This form of love is inspirational to most individuals. To some, this love is draining. Happiness of the present day has become more than that limited definition.
The concept of love today is not only romantic. It is about understanding. It is not perfect communication, but safe communication. It is the support that presents itself on ordinary days and not only special days. Removing the commercial veneer of Valentine’s Day provides the possibility of redefining love in a manner that highlights the way individuals live, relate and develop.
The world in which relationships are built in is more complicated than ever. Individuals are juggling with jobs, management of caregivers, mental health, financial strain, and changing individual identity. That is a fact in this world where love cannot live on big gestures. It needs structure. It needs empathy. It requires communication that transcends I love you and goes to I understand you.
Romantic gestures are beautiful, but no longer the basis of a long-lasting relationship. Love is not at its very essence about saying the right thing. Good communication is not dramatic or poetic. It is consistent. It is the expression of needs, with the absence of fear of rejection. It is what transforms conflict to connection rather than distance.
The interpretation of love languages does not require certain types of behavior. It has to do with getting to know what the people we love feel, are seen and treasured. There are people who are loved by words.
Love languages include works of service, physical proximity, or considerate presents. None of these are superior. It is only the desire to observe and act. Contemporary love understands that even love that is shown using the wrong words may be lonely. The thing is that love is still communicated in such a way that it becomes genuine and accepted.
Romance is inclined to pay attention to the appearance of love. Support is calling in on a problematic day. It is the promotion of rest rather than productivity. It is rejoicing in its expansion without any need to be acknowledged. It is standing next to another person as they are existing, attempting to mend things.
Emotional support has become a necessity in the current relationships. People are ceasing to find partners who can just complement their lives. They are in search of partners who will walk with them, empathize and stand by in life. Support constitutes creating a space of vulnerability. It entails the consideration of independence and provision of reliability. It refers to knowing that love does not necessarily have to be loud but needs to be everywhere.
Valentine’s has also come out of the couple’s scenario. Friendships, the chosen family, self-love, and community are now being celebrated by many. The change is not the denial of romance; it is the acknowledgment that there are numerous types of love. A judgment-free friend. A spouse who encourages growing beyond your fullest potential.
Love does not require being fancy to mean something. It needs to be intentional. This year on Valentine’s Day, love can resemble sincere communication. It may appear as a joint effort. It may appear in the form of seeing how one feels loved and meeting him at that point. Romance is deeper than it is loud, when it is combined with communication, respect and support.
It turns into sustainable and not performative. And joy is not acted out, but a communion. When you make love bigger, it ceases to be about the day per se, it begins to be the way people show up for each other not just for that particular day but for many times in the days to come.