By: Miscellaneous Contributors
Meet Alice Moonlight!
To me, it’s like this.
I’ve known who I am for a long time. You feel it in yourself to be that way. It’s an undeniable understanding I think most people reach in life. I’ve never tried to fight it or apologize for it. It’s a truth that simmers within you, waiting to bloom openly in the best of times and stays hidden when you aren’t in the places you feel safest.
I was born in Buffalo but much of my childhood and indeed, upraising, was centered around the dogmatic belief of the rural South and the Pentecostal Brimstone that had stayed superior in my times living with my grandparents of Bristol, VA. Like all those who want to value their loved ones, it was a learned value all the same to keep who I really was in all facets, a secret. It was in err to be named an outsider, a heathen, and a possible usurper to the structure already adhered to for generations.
And though maybe for one point or another, I confided, when given opportunity to spell out my true name, I flourished. Far more than I ever thought possible.
That was in music of untamed potential, art that was not burdened by limits, and the creative mind and like of genius that was the other; the wistful unknown to those who chose not to allow such things to ever reach their ears.
I felt my will to women, femininity, and the understanding of unconditional love burgeon from my mother, who, with all her worldly knowledge created an expansive look to the universe, one that never truly defined any one being as a binary facet, instead building my understanding of the human race as an ever in-flux journey throughout.
I knew then I realized myself. I was not a man nor a woman trapped in a man’s body. I wasn’t yet to be defined.
I was just me. Alice.
A person at the end of the day, who like all things, will live a life I choose till I’m claimed by time.
There is no limit to our potential if we allow all of us to be who we are. These ideas of closure and ignorance of love hold us back, tighten our yet untold futures, and create a world of stagnation and fear. We are far better. We can create so much without these tethers.
Trans rights are human rights. And always will be.
Meet Deanna Kania!
Coming out, especially as trans in a Polish Roman Catholic household was not easy. I was asked by people “why not just be gay” but being trans is not a sexual thing. I would be lying to myself. I spent 15+ years in therapy before I transitioned, and countless nights crying since I was six wishing I woke up as a girl.
It’s been 5+ years since I’ve been on hormones, and I would not change a thing. Many people think negatively of trans people, thinking it’s a sexual thing, but that’s the farthest thing from the truth. I didn’t give up a $52k job at 29, just to decide one day I was trans, and throw it all away. Many people think it’s to invade women’s spaces, but what’s stopping a cis man from entering a woman’s bathroom? NOTHING!
The stigma against trans people not only affects trans people, but cis as well, as we see more incidents of cis people being harassed in bathrooms. In reality, we just want to go on about our lives and be happy, and I will defend ANY of my trans siblings from hate or harassment by ANYONE threatening them.
Meet Vivien Draven!
My name is Vivien. I’m 33 years old, left-handed, and a Gemini. I’m a mother, a martial artist, an avid explorer of the outdoors and abandoned locations, and a woman of a million hobbies that all rotate in focus constantly.
I also just so happen to be a trans woman. Trying to give a genuine answer to the question “what is it like being trans” is an exercise in frustration.
Arguably the most important place to start is that transgenderism is NOT inherently sexual. I feel that much of the confusion from cis people can be traced to this specific misconception. While trans people can and absolutely do enjoy sexual activities at the same rate as their cis counterparts, transgenderism is simply so much bigger than that miniscule slice of the human experience and often is a very distant secondary focus for many of us. It’s the expression of gender, not sexuality, meaning that the “point of being trans” is to express yourself and present to society in such a way that you are recognized as your “authentic” gender.
Another common source of confusion is how gender expression for trans people can often be misunderstood or negated by cis people, depending on their internal assumptions. Seeing facial hair, body parts, or the pitch of how someone speaks, all tend to be used to invalidate our existence, intentionally or not. There are cisgender people who don’t sound/look/talk/act like they’re “supposed to,” yet whenever a trans person shares these qualities, they are used to invalidate from who we are based on “not doing good enough.” Even ignoring the universal aspects of gender that everyone must navigate, there is a clear double standard when it comes to gender expression and how much is needed for your gender to be “accepted.” Whereas a cis woman might be uncomfortable with the idea of going out of the house without makeup but still go out and be called “she/her/miss/ma’am,” trans women such as myself cannot go out into the world without any makeup on and expect the same treatment. The phrase “you have to work twice as hardto get half as far” in this case feels very applicable.
The last point I want to discuss is the idea of “gender dysphoria.” When transgenderism was categorized as a mental illness, the main symptom they looked for was this “gender dysphoria,” also known as aversion at your own body deviating from what you yourself wish to look like. This was (and in most of the world still is) the main symptom needed to be able to authorize the prescriptions of hormones/surgeries.
There are two main arguments I have against this as our standard, however. While yes, many of us do experience some form of gender dysphoria, I think it’s easy to argue that if we were being listened to and having our gender expression respected at an equal level of respect, we would not experience nearly the same levels of dysphoria in the trans community.
All in all, the “trans experience” and “cis experience” have far more in common with each other than they have differences. The only major difference between us is simply whether we identify with our gender assigned at birth based on our sex, or not. And once we can get past that obstacle, it becomes very clear that when it comes to trans people, our being trans is very often the least interesting thing about us.