By: Victoria H
Love is in the air! Throughout the entire month of February, the stores and media are filled with red heart decor and advertisements revolving around love. There are many ways to express this emotion to those around you, but the best way to do so is to speak their love language. Not only is it beneficial to your special someone, but also to your children, family, friends, and those you care about.
Everyone has a language for giving and receiving love. They may not always be the same and an individual can have more than one primary love language. Gary Chapman captured this idea in his critically acclaimed book “The 5 Love Languages.” He defines the 5 most common languages as Gifting, Acts of Service, Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, and Physical Touch. These simple categories provide a framework for understanding how we can connect with our children and others.
One major benefit to discovering your love language is opening up a new realm of communication. This ability will help you to better understand your relationships and help to express your own needs more clearly. You will also be able to recognize the different types of ways people express affection. Learning these love languages can help you build stronger, more meaningful connections.
You might be wondering how one identifies their love language. You can ask yourself or others, “How do I know that this person loves me?” Do you feel loved with a thoughtful souvenir after someone returns from a trip, with a warm embrace, or having your chore completed before you get home? Maybe hearing that someone loves you is more meaningful than spending the day together. Some people can look at these categories and know instantly where their preferences lie. You can take the free quiz online at Gary Chapman’s official website, seen in the QR code provided. This quiz is a very quick and straightforward way to discover your love language and possibly recognize it in others.
Once you’ve identified the love language, there are so many ways of expression. For Physical Touch, a simple hug or playful arm nudge can mean a lot. Gift Giving is often viewed as a high-maintenance love language, but it’s more about providing proof that you are thinking about someone when they’re not around. You could text them a picture of their favorite flower while on a walk or grab an extra piece of their favorite penny-candy while shopping. For Words of Affirmation, telling someone what you admire most about them can carry a lot of weight. Quality Time can be simple because even if you aren’t doing something special, the effort of being together is love in and of itself. Acts of Service requires one to anticipate the needs of the other person and fulfill that task to help them out. Getting someone’s car detailed for them or taking over dish duty after a long day can mean so much.
We all need to be loved in the way that matters most to us, not just for Valentine’s Day, but for every day. During this holiday, turn some of that love in on yourself and honor your own love language. Give yourself a hug, buy yourself a treat, say a daily affirmation, complete that nagging task, and spend some quality time reconnecting with who you are as a person. Don’t forget to love yourself first because you deserve it!