By Susanna Schenk The holiday season is quickly approaching and it’s the time of year when we stop our normal day-to-day busy lives to celebrate with our friends and family. No matter what you celebrate at this time of year, it very often includes a meal and conversation. For example, some familie...

By Susanna Schenk 

The holiday season is quickly approaching and it’s the time of year when we stop our normal day-to-day busy lives to celebrate with our friends and family. No matter what you celebrate at this time of year, it very often includes a meal and conversation. For example, some families have the tradition that on Thanksgiving everyone shares what they are thankful for. It may be one of the only times in a year when everyone sits down and enjoys a meal together.

Most of us will agree that this is a wonderful time to reflect and share special thoughts and memories with those people near and dear to our lives. But why wait once a year? In fact, the practice of sitting down, eating a meal and sharing a meaningful conversation is one that shouldn’t be reserved for only holidays and special occasions. In our crazy daily lives of work, school, activities, sports, and social commitments, family meal time becomes more and more difficult to fit in. The half-hour to hour that you take to sit down without devices and focus on meaningful conversation can be some of the best time spent in your day. Young children are eager to talk about things that interest them and to have an adult’s attention. These conversations help set the foundation for future conversations as your child gets older.

It may not be a nightly dinner. You may have to wait for car rides, bath time or before a bedtime story, but make sure to take the time to talk. If you ask what your child did in school today the answer is often “nothing”. Instead, start with more open-ended or guiding questions and you will often learn a lot more. Here are some suggestions to create meaningful conversations beyond the holiday table that will make you thankful for your relationship with your child each year.

Conversation starters:

o What did you do today that you are proud of?
o What mistake or challenge did you make or face today?
o Tell me one thing you saw today that you really liked?
o If you were in charge of the cafeteria what would you do?
o Can you explain how lunch at school is different from our table…which do you like more…why? What is the same?
o If you could sit with anyone in the world at lunch who would it be? Why?

For the following statements fill in your answer and then follow up with – “How about you?”

o I’m so thankful for/that…
o I wish…
o One place or thing I would love to see…

Conversations help develop many important life skills:

• Language and vocabulary development
• Listening skills
• Respect for others’ points of view
• Thoughtful reflection or debate
• Ability to express thankfulness for what you have and value
• Learning from mistakes and it’s okay if they happen
• A sense of humor
• Most importantly, preparation for future social meals in school and on into adulthood

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